Im sorry, Mum

I'm sorry I am not your ideal daughter. I know that Mum whatever you do is for our own good but for my own good, you're making me breathless. Whenever I'm at home I'm afraid of the sound of your foot steps heading to my room because my mind will start counting, predicting issues that you're going to scold me of. Will she scold me that I'm fat? Or is it me turning on the lap top 24/7? Your grudge to me is like a pile of old newspapers stack of a mountain. I understand that but can't you cut me some slacks? I had already adapted the life in KL, I sleeps until noon, my breakfast is my tea break, I am always outside for dinner, lunch, supper. I chase blockbuster movie. I different friends for different meals, different occasion. Even when I sleep, I have my room mate with me and the only activity we do is to talk cock and again, Internectivity. I don't do drugs, I don't smoke either. I don't even have a boyfriend. I just enjoy talking and meeting with friends. After I come back Sandakan, planning to start a new life and I thought I did. I woke up at 7.00 am every morning for breakfast with the folks. I fetch my mum to school forth and back including her lunch. Even when she's ill I make sure she ate her medicine, right dish for her meals, fulfill her wishes of what she necessity she needs. I'm not trying to count my deeds but I came to realise that you're not looking the things I did but focusing on my flaw.

I'm sorry that I am fat.
I'm sorry I am not pretty as other girls
I'm sorry that I spoilt the camera
I'm sorry I didn't read bible at night
I'm sorry for meeting friends every night
I'm sorry my pimples aren't getting any better
I'm sorry that you're ashame of me
I'm sorry I didnt do what I promised
and
I'm sorry I am your daughter....

I really hate myself for being me.